That’s what people ask me all the time.
Am I the only one?
Okay- so it isn’t EXACTLY like that- but that IS what they’re asking.
I get the questions ALL of the time.
“Are you guys done now?”
“Are you stopping at three?”
“Are you going to try for your girl?”
“What if you don’t have a girl next, will you go for five?”
If you’re reading this right now and you’re like, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” I’ve asked her these questions! It’s about me!
Chill. It’s not. I’m not talking about you.
I’m talking about the lady at the restaurant with the face that has the look on it. The one with the furrowed eyebrows.
Here’s the thing- I’m not really a sensitive person. I’m really outgoing. I like to talk. It doesn’t bother me that I’m endlessly confronted with the fact that I have my hands full. I know. I take it as a massive compliment. I’ve been waiting for my time to shine. Often the comments about my hands being full are made in the grocery store by a dear, elderly woman who I imagine once had her hands full and was staring longingly at me from afar- reflecting on fond memories of her own children from long ago. I actually love the comment. And it’s pretty obvious that my hands are full as they are most literally full and there’s an open bag of chips that are being given out “nest style” to my cart full of baby birds with open mouths.
Whatever! I don’t care. My hands are full. I kinda like it. It doesn’t offend me. Actually, the aforementioned questions about whether or not I want more kids don’t REALLLLY offend me because I’m hard to offend in this category of conversation.
See, I haven’t been burned in this area of my life.
I’m super out spoken, and pregnancy has come easy to me. I don’t have a hard time talking about my body. My journey has not been an emotional one.
Nope, we’re not done now. Nope, we’re not stopping at three. Yeah, we kinda do want a girl one day, God-willing.
But, this isn’t about us.
It’s about them.
There are couples who struggle with infertility. Whose pregnancy tests don’t give them the answers they long for. People who spend thousands of dollars on in vitro fertilization. There are pregnancies that didn’t go as planned that end in disappointment and heart ache. There are women who ARE pregnant but they don’t want to say because “what if?” There are women who are paralyzed with fear of possible miscarriage who cry that their own stress could harm their baby. There are husbands and wives that literally have awkward conversations because the gender wasn’t what one of them hoped. There are women who I know personally who feel SO much pressure because they know that their husband REALLY wants to have a son… and IT’S A GIRL. There are couples who decided that they only want to have one child and continuously question their choices because you’re inadvertently telling them that one isn’t good enough. OR people who have decided that they don’t want kids- that it isn’t for them, and you suck the meaning from their lives and tell them they can’t “just travel” or “just be a dog mom.”
I don’t think people mean to do it.
I’ve done it. And I didn’t know.
I’d like to think they just. don’t. know.
Let’s get it out on the table. ❤