Okay- so it isn’t EXACTLY like that- but that IS what they’re asking.
I get the questions ALL of the time.
“Are you guys done now?”
“Are you stopping at three?”
“Are you going to try for your girl?”
“What if you don’t have a girl next, will you go for five?”
If you’re reading this right now and you’re like, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” I’ve asked her these questions! It’s about me!
Chill. It’s not. I’m not talking about you.
I’m talking about the lady at the restaurant with the face that has the look on it. The one with the furrowed eyebrows.
Here’s the thing- I’m not really a sensitive person. I’m really outgoing. I like to talk. It doesn’t bother me that I’m endlessly confronted with the fact that I have my hands full. I know. I take it as a massive compliment. I’ve been waiting for my time to shine. Often the comments about my hands being full are made in the grocery store by a dear, elderly woman who I imagine once had her hands full and was staring longingly at me from afar- reflecting on fond memories of her own children from long ago. I actually love the comment. And it’s pretty obvious that my hands are full as they are most literally full and there’s an open bag of chips that are being given out “nest style” to my cart full of baby birds with open mouths.
Whatever! I don’t care. My hands are full. I kinda like it. It doesn’t offend me. Actually, the aforementioned questions about whether or not I want more kids don’t REALLLLY offend me because I’m hard to offend in this category of conversation.
See, I haven’t been burned in this area of my life.
I’m super out spoken, and pregnancy has come easy to me. I don’t have a hard time talking about my body. My journey has not been an emotional one.
Nope, we’re not done now. Nope, we’re not stopping at three. Yeah, we kinda do want a girl one day, God-willing.
But, this isn’t about us.
It’s about them.
There are couples who struggle with infertility. Whose pregnancy tests don’t give them the answers they long for. People who spend thousands of dollars on in vitro fertilization. There are pregnancies that didn’t go as planned that end in disappointment and heart ache. There are women who ARE pregnant but they don’t want to say because “what if?” There are women who are paralyzed with fear of possible miscarriage who cry that their own stress could harm their baby. There are husbands and wives that literally have awkward conversations because the gender wasn’t what one of them hoped. There are women who I know personally who feel SO much pressure because they know that their husband REALLY wants to have a son… and IT’S A GIRL. There are couples who decided that they only want to have one child and continuously question their choices because you’re inadvertently telling them that one isn’t good enough. OR people who have decided that they don’t want kids- that it isn’t for them, and you suck the meaning from their lives and tell them they can’t “just travel” or “just be a dog mom.”
YAYYYY! First brand new post on my new platform. I should have done this years ago, and to be honest, my last post made me realize I needed to just go for it. So here we are! If you have been reading my blogs for some time, I am going to be spending the first few weeks previewing some of my favorite writings so far and writing new material. 🙂 All of my inspiration comes from moments in my every day life, and when I was in the shower the other day, I realized my shower experience has changed quite a bit.
Showers used to be really stressful for me. When my first born was a toddler, he was SO attached to me and would just SCREAM and SCREAM. I would get so much anxiety, and I would start rushing. I wouldn’t shave my legs properly so it would leave me feeling itchy the next day. Showers were NOT relaxing.
Nowadays, my shower is my absolute favorite “me time” of the day. My showers are HOT, and I really take my time. Yesterday I was letting the water hit my face and found myself thinking about how different my life is now. It’s 100% due to my husband and what he has unintentionally taught me about my life and who I am as a mother and woman in general.
Many of you don’t know me well enough to know how special and divine my relationship is with my husband. Our story is pure bliss and romance. I promise to share more and more with time. 🙂 I have been made better through our relationship. We are firm believers in equality in marriage, and there is no one who inspires me more than him.
That being said, here are some life changing things that I have learned about motherhood through my husband. Every woman needs to remember these things, so if you don’t have a Jack Lyons- let me be him for you. 🙂 Consider it done.
Motherhood makes you beautiful. Not like romper and wedges beautiful. Like, falling asleep during a night time feeding and cuddling a toddler crying about the way his socks feel- beautiful. When we came home from the hospital after having our third baby, my mother-in-law said, “Wow honey, you look so amazing!” He didn’t even direct it at me, but as he was walking by his mum (he’s British) he said, “She honestly looked like that two minutes after she had him.” *SWOON.* I’m sure I was far from glamorous, but what I mean is, my husband’s idea of beauty has transformed to match this time in our lives. As I was nursing our two day old baby, completely depleted, wearing a hospital grade pad (I just lost all the male readers LOL), and thinking about the daunting reality that I was now a mother of three- I was feeling pretty far from beautiful. His comment made me feel radiant on the inside and outside. Like, I just HAD A BABY. I am a queen! I can do this.
2. Motherhood gives you anxiety, and he always reminds me to calm down. Oh my gosh- literally from the second you find out you are pregnant, you question every single decision. Too much caffeine? What will happen to my baby if I just eat the lunch meat? And then it just continues on forever and ever. Am I just never going to have everything under control for as long as I live? Like, you never stop wondering. Is it bad my kid isn’t potty trained yet? Is this fever too high? How much screen time is TOO much screen time? Is my kid going to need therapy because of the way I just shouted? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten into bed and said, “Am I absolutely blowing it?” Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you’re not. No one knows what they’re doing- just calm down. Cool your jets.
3. You are not alone. It’s really easy to feel alone as a mom. That’s because you go along day to day trying to make the right decisions for your kids and it’s exhausting because what’s best for them is hardly ever what’s easy for you. Mom is always the last to eat. It’s tricky to remember to take care of yourself. My husband reminds me to do that. He shows me that I’m not alone. Before I had Beckham, I used to get Hudson out of the car every morning and walk Jaxon into school. I worried my whole pregnancy that I would have to get the double stroller out every day to get Jaxon to his classroom. Jack suggested the *GASP* car line. Surely not. Surely I wasn’t considering dropping off my child through the car line. How would I know he got to his classroom? Did he get to his little seat? Did he hang up his backpack? Oh, freaking hell- did he put his lunch box in the bucket?!?! Here’s the thing- I needed to let go a little. I needed someone to tell me. And guess what- we did it. My golden child. My first born prize got out of the car and walked to his classroom and I left (and texted his teacher to see if he made it, WHAT A DWEEB.) And let me tell you friends, WHAT A DREAM. Car line was absolute bliss. I’ll never go back. I know I’m not alone, we all have these moments- but you need someone to remind you that they’re right there with you and that what’s easy for mom matters, too.
4. You are SO needed. My kids absolutely LOVE my husband. He’s fun, ya know? He can throw them higher. He can kick a soccer ball harder. He plays the music louder in the truck. I mean, I can play hulk smash for awhile and then I’m done- I need a break. My husband could wear a hulk smash mask for three hours. He doesn’t care. He’s COOL. But you know what? I’m momma. You just can’t take that away. When all hell comes barreling through the door, where’s mom? We are important. Our middle son, Hudson, is OBSESSED with Daddy- but the two times he has been sick, he thought Jack was a fungal rot. He was like a little koala on me for DAYS. Dad was a little disappointed, but he’s the first to say, “he needs momma.” Similarly, when my oldest son, Jaxon, has soccer and they’re driving home and I’m on speaker, I can hear him begging for the phone so he can tell me about the goal he scored or how he skinned his knee. Sometimes the answer is daddy, but let me tell you- momma’s the one. We just never get old.
5. Moms are superhuman. Every single mom can name certain days where they still don’t know how they did it. One night a few weeks ago, the kids had a really rough night. We were both up multiple times. Who sleeps, anyway? It was two days later and Jack said, “I’m so tired, I think it’s still from the other night- you can operate normally on a shit sleep, but I just can’t.” It made me laugh, but how true is it?! I NEVER sleep more than three consecutive hours. Like, not in YEARS. A night’s sleep from two days ago? I don’t even know him. Those are old news problems- sailed ships if you will. A few weeks later we were talking about it to friends and Jack said, “She literally has one cup of coffee and it’s like nothing ever happened- she just does her day.
I’m telling you- he makes me feel super special. But, it’s not just me- it’s moms everywhere that just need a reminder. We are killing it! We are all just out here winging it, and we are making it look easy.